My Computer Is Out For The Count

Well just my luck. I had to take my laptop in to get fixed because it has decided to no longer work. I had bought an extended warranty, but it of course expires in a month. The company will probably keep my laptop until the warranty expires and then say it is working fine. Once I take possession of the computer again I can no longer fix it under a warranty that has expired. Typical. So I am down for the count when it comes to my computer. Therefore my posts will not be that frequent.
I also had promised my tattoo story this week, which I wrote while in IV Therapy. I thought I was so smart writing a post ahead of time, but now it is on my laptop, therefore at the store. I will re-write some of my posts on my mother’s iPad and hopefully post them from there. What I will try to promise is to work on the biggest and best bucket list story I have… yes it is my Garth story. I will also give you a heads up I am off to my Nana’s memorial this week so I will be in Manitoba. I will admit it is hard to write a  post on a cell phone, especially when my peripheral neuropathy makes it extremely hard to type or even text on something so small.

Speaking about cell phones… my phone is broken as well! I went to the store to get it fixed and was faced with a huge shock. The guy who signed me up was fired after a month of working there.  Not only am I signed up with a contract that doesn’t even truly exist, all the promises he gave me and info about my contract were false as well. I hate cell phones! Now I am thinking I have to get a new computer and cell phone. Seriously? With what miracle money may I ask? Anyways, I am frustrated as you can tell and nothing seems to be working.

I am still waiting to hear from that specialist who has to read my MRI scan. The results have been sent to him but I have not heard yet the official conclusion/diagnosis. Thank you all for your well wishes and I will keep you updated.

Pamela

Weekly Photo Challenge: Merge

This week I had a ton of time to think about what photo to use for the word “Merge”, I have been doing daily treatments that take a minimum of 1.5 hrs so I decided the word merge meant to me a union, a collaboration. Most people think of weddings when they hear union, and that is exactly what I did. So I searched for a photo of a beautiful marriage, my Grandparents, Nana and Grandad. I love and miss you!

Pamela

“Rocker” and “Swinger”

It has been awhile since I have opened this laptop, but one thing I do know for sure is that I need a light-hearted or funny post. I mentioned in an earlier post (The End of an Olympic Dream), when I was 16 I had been scouted to go play ice hockey in Lake Placid, New York. So I decided to tell a few of my New York adventure stories this week. For those of you who have been asking me to tell it, my tattoo story will be up this week as well if all goes according to plan.

My parents had to drop me off in Lake Placid at my school a couple of nights early. There were no other athletes/students yet, only teachers and dorm parents. The reason my parents had to leave me early was due to the fact a tragedy had just happened in the world, Swiss Air 111 had crashed. We were living in Halifax Nova Scotia at the time, and my parents were helping with the disaster response. My mother was working in the morgue as a critical incident stress counselor. My father was working in the forensic dentistry identification area. I was so proud of my parents and all the work they put into helping as many families as they could.

A Routine Eye Appointment Turns Into So Much More

Well what can I say… some people are just lucky others are not. I decided while I was resting up it was time to go get my eyes checked out the other day. I had been putting this appointment off ever since I found out I had swelling of my dura (lining of the brain) and around the pituitary stem (in the brain). We found this out in my last MRI and have been wondering if the extra cranial pressure was causing any problems. Well… we still don’t have any answers as to why I have the swelling. To tell you the truth it is scary and of course painful.

So I decided, since I wear my glasses everyday, it was time to get new ones. I  have been having trouble with my eyesight lately and have kept it to myself most of the time. So long story short, I was going through the routine eye exam and the doctor paused and thought for a few minutes. After some extra tests and poking around he discovered I am now color blind in my left eye and I also see double out of it. My prescription has drastically changed. I have opposite stigmatism’s in each eye and one eye is near sighted the other far sighted.

So I ask you again, do you think I am one of the lucky ones in this world or not? As you can tell it has been a rough go for me lately and I am not so cheerful tonight. I am losing the feeling in my legs my peripheral neuropathy is so bad and mom is already looking at wheelchair accessible houses to move in to. I can’t imagine what my future holds in the respect of my body just falling apart. It seems God wants to take my legs, now He wants my eyes. What else can I give?

Pamela

Getting Some Rest With My Best Buddies

Everyone knows that when you are sick, the hospital becomes your second home. This of course is not a choice I have willingly made, but, have come to grips with the reality of my situation. The reality being I have treatments at the hospital almost daily, specialist appointments, scans… so going to the hospital is now a full-time job for me. Due to this, I have become quite attached to the nurses at IV therapy and enjoy hearing about their daily lives. Honestly, this has helped me out tremendously when it comes to my emotional health. Especially since I do not have anyone to talk to during the day except my dogs.

Happy To Be Home

I am sorry I have not posted lately as I have been quite sick. I was admitted to the hospital and then have been slow to get my strength back at home as well. Therefore this will be very short just to say I am doing a lot better now and I have been able to stay out from the hospital these last few days. I still have to go daily for treatments, scans, tests or appointments, but I am so happy to be back in my own bed.

It was a rough stay this time as you can tell from the photo I made my mom take for the blog. I do not let her read my blog so she did not understand why I requested a photo, this made me chuckle. Many of you might be wondering why she does not read my blog? Some of the posts I have been told are quite entertaining. Well, it is because I live with her, therefore she does not need any reminder that I am in pain. She sees and hears it daily, what torture that must be for a parent!

Feeling better and will post tomorrow.

Pamela

Weekly Photo Challenge: Growth

This weeks photo challenge “Growth” really made me think and I had no clue what I would use as a photo.  That is when I received an email from my friend Aly. I was so excited because it had pictures of her brand new baby girl, Aurora-Lea Anne. I started thinking a few years back and I can remember going to the hospital when her first baby, Jayme-Gwen, was born. As I stood there holding that  baby in my arms I cried.

It was such a happy day for me. That sweet little baby is now a big sister and has grown up so much. When she calls me “Aunty Pammy” it is the best feeling in the world. I have not been able to go see them since my health started to decline because I no longer am driving. Therefore I was beyond shocked at how quickly the time goes by and how rapidly children grow in a blink of an eye. The innocence and pure love that children have is priceless and is so evident in this photo. I can already tell these little girls will be best buddies, just look at that adorable smile. Aurora will grow up knowing she is loved by her big sister!

Ahhh so cute!

Pamela… (“Aunty Pammy”)

Another Very Very Long Night of Pain

I had to finally be honest with myself and admit this is going to be another night that I can not sleep. My pain is so bad that my pajamas, sheets, covers, everything are making my skin scream out. I am begging for some kind of relief, turning to  my medications, but nothing has helped. I am trying to keep down my peppermint tea with my nausea and have tried a cool bath to soothe my nerve pain in my skin; nothing is working.

I cry out because sometimes I feel like I am at my end of my rope. What makes it worse is my mom can hear and see me in such pain and she can’t help. The look in her eyes is so tragic and upsetting. She is desperate to help her me, and helpless all at the same time because there is nothing anyone can do.  Truthfully, I could go back to being a hospitalized narcotic zombie, but really is that is any kind of life? The days go by and you don’t even realize it because your pump injects you every hour on the hour.

Up Close and Personal With An MRI

I want to give you a heads up that this post will be educational and not very entertaining.  I promised that I would inform readers about medical tests and procedures and today’s post is about going for an MRI. My goal is to help you navigate the medical system with a little less anxiety and I hope to reduce the stress that you may be experiencing.

So what exactly is an MRI, in simple terms? It is a big, fancy, very expensive machine that looks like a tunnel. You lay on a platform/stretcher and this platform raises and places you inside the machine for your scan. If you are a Star Trek fan, think of being in a photon torpedo as it is being loaded.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Purple

This weeks photo challenge really was a hard one for me. I am resting up trying to get a little stronger so I thought I would have lots of time to find a photo that means “Purple” to me. To be quite honest I have been unable to come up with anything artistic, except for the literal meaning of purple, the colour. I was able to find a picture though of a beautiful hanging basket that my mom’s best friend has.

I hope everyone is well and I still have not heard about my MRI yet, although I promise to finish the post about my MRI in the next few days. Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers.

Pamela