Adult Bullies

I bet you never thought nowadays you would hear of adult bullies. I sure didn’t think I would ever come across adult bullies in my lifetime. I was done with bullies, school was over! I’m the type that if I ever did come across bullies (no matter what age), I always knew that I would be able to stick up to them. I am 32…now, at my age, it should be the easiest task ever.

Well, that’s just not true in my case. Because of all my brain surgeries, they removed the part of my brain that deals with the Fight or Flight response (my pituitary gland). So now, I don’t have that important gland anymore.

As an example: If I’m ever dealt with something major, or there’s a major crisis, I usually will sit there and absorb the situation. I won’t run and I won’t fight. I literally sit there and I don’t fightback, nor do I run. Like I said, I am frozen in time for a bit.

So there I was, minding my own business like any other day, waiting to get my treatment at the hospital. But this time the nurses were really, really, really busy. I mean these nurses work super hard, and they were working as fast, and as hard, as they could to call the patients through to the back for treatment. So all the patients and I had been waiting unfortunately for an hour and a half for our appointments. It wasn’t the nurses fault, they just had a lot of patients and probably some nurses that didn’t show up for work that day.

Here we all were, waiting for quite a while, and some people were more than a little bit frustrated. I thought being adults, you would think they would keep it to themselves, and deal with it. So there I was when my friend phoned me. Please keep in mind my deafness for this story! I usually talk a little louder than others on the phone (I only have 15% remaining in my right ear and 0% in my left). I wasn’t talking very long and I actually thought I had my volume in check for once.

Important to note also, is there is not a single sign in the waiting room that says you can not be on your phone. Not one sign!

So while I was talking, I could see to my right, this woman shaking her hands around wildly. So I took my phone, away my ear, so that I could hear what she was saying. There she was yelling at me get off my phone, “You are so loud, get off your phone!” So of course I panicked! I was like, “What’s going on?” I had an “adult”woman, yelling at me, “You are so rude”! Why is she yelling at me? So there she was, yelling at me to get off my phone, which of course I already was by that point. I literally just hung up on Patricia. The kicker was, the fact the woman, was also on her phone!

I looked to the people on my left and they said, “Yes you are loud.” So, they also decided to go on the bandwagon with this other lady, and started yelling at me as well! I was devastated. I couldn’t believe what was going on. Here I was, surrounded by adults, yelling at me. My doctor had told to start going to assertiveness classes. So I decided for the first time in my life, this would be when I would stick up for myself!
It was not a good idea! I said to the lady “I have every right to be on my phone as you do. I have been coming here everyday for over two years and I have never had something like this ever happened to me. I am sorry if I was loud that was not my intent, but I have every right to be on the phone as you!”

So then she started yelling back at me and then the elderly gentleman on my right he said “Just because you’ve been coming here for over two years, doesn’t mean you can make up the rules!” Obviously, sticking up for myself backfired in so many ways! Here were all these adults yelling at me… I was off my phone, I had said sorry, and I had said sorry to them how many times, so how many times do they want me to say sorry?
I said, “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! How many times do you want me to say, I am sorry!” One thing was for sure, they all went quiet after that. I was just mortified, and at that point, also confused. I sat there and guess what I ended up doing? I cried. I cried in front of all of them. I was so embarrassed with myself, and worse of all, I couldn’t get up. I was frozen and I just couldn’t move.

The parts of my brain that of been removed… we’re doing me no justice in this situation. I needed them to help me, but that part of my brain was gone forever! So, I just sat there like a helpless little girl and cried in the corner where everyone could see me!

When I eventually did get my legs to move, I got up, walked away, and I cried in the bathroom. I cried so loud the receptionist heard me. She knows me really well, and she was so upset she wanted me to show her where the people were sitting. Unfortunately they had already been called back, and honestly I didn’t really want a big scene.

When I got home, I realized I was scared really only of the aggressive woman. How weird is that? Here I was a grown adult now scared of this woman. I come every day to the hospital to get treatment, and now I’m afraid to come because this woman has appointments there. How pathetic!

I should be able to stick up for myself, but instead; I am this weak person, who cries in the corner, and is now afraid to go to appointments. Just because of an aggressive patient who might be in the waiting room. Ridiculous! So I’m trying to deal with it.

But can you imagine? Adult bullies nowadays can be found in Hospital waiting rooms. It’s ridiculous! For all the places to be. If anywhere I would expect adult bullies to be at bowling.

Who knows where they will pop up next?Well I’m just trying to deal with it and get over it. How pathetic though I’m 32 and I’m now scared of an adult bully. All because I have no pituitary gland.

Pamela